I’m having good days and bad days, more bad than good lately. (And by lately, I mostly mean this week.) In my head mentally, more than physically, which is weird and not something I’m accustomed to.
I’m accustomed to physical pain and discomfort. The brain surgery and the recovery made me and physical pain close, close friends. I know how to handle pain. The headaches are worse, but I expected them to be. Being pregnant makes it more difficult to manage without pain pills, but I’m managing it.
I’m slower now. Moving around is more deliberate in all the usual ways pregnancy makes moving deliberate, and in some bonus ways I didn’t expect. Pregnancy carpel tunnel in my wrists and ridiculous foot/leg pain makes typing and walking difficult sometimes.
So that’s that, body-wise. Mentally, I don’t know what’s going on. I’ve always been, what’s the word… plucky? Happy is my default. Seriously. It sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. I’ve had things come up (as we all do in life) to make me sad, but I’ve rarely been in so deep that my toes couldn’t touch the bottom. Lately I’m finding myself crying for no reason, staying in bed under a cloud of funk I can’t see through and pretending to be happy when I’m very clearly not. It’s not 24/7. Which is good. It’s not something I don’t think I can handle. It’s just very present right now. Today.
It’s probably hormones. It’s probably one of those things I haven’t gotten to in all the pregnancy books I still need to read. But it sucks.
It does suck. And it is hormones, and it is normal… but that doesn’t make it suck any less. Big hugs to you!
Thanks Erin. It’s scary b/c it’s never really surfaced before. Why are hormones so crazy? Why can’t I just eat ice cream and pickles and demand foot rubs like a normal pregnant woman?!
I get horny and mean…. hormones are crazy and everybody is different. To reinforce my status as “boob nazi” let me add – if you plan on breastfeeding, the hormones released while nursing really help alleviate a lot of the “Crazy making” hormones leftover from being pregnant and also help prevent PPD!
ILU SO MUCH FOR THAT COMMENT!! hahaha!
I’m planning on breast feeding, for sure, so that’s good news!
Hang in there. It is not normal to be happy all the time 🙂 I’m 15 weeks pregnant and definitely have ups an downs daily (hourly? minutely?) – its all very confusing and exhausting. One day at a time!
ANother vote for hormones. I cried at the drop of a hat, for any and ALL reasons. For me, I became a little crazier after baby’s birth, due to sleep deprivation. Sorry- that’s just me : (. Nursing did help but lack of sleep did not. You’ll get through it. Just know that if you feel that it just *doesn’t feel right*, then please bring it up with your doctor. xoxoxoxo
I’m going to echo Evin and say that it does suck and I’m sorry. I wish you better soon. Sending hugs…
Traci